A doctor, a lawyer and a priest… [03.23.15]

March 23, 2015

A doctor, a lawyer and a priest are on a sinking ship.

doctor

The doctor says, “Save the women and children!”

lawyer

The lawyer says, “Screw the women and children.”

priest

The priest says, “Think we have time?”

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On Death and Dying [03.19.15]

March 19, 2015

“Life is pleasant. Death is peaceful. It’s the transition that’s troublesome.” – Isaac Asimov 

“Don’t think of it as dying. Just think of it as leaving early to avoid the rush.”  -Terry Pratchett

“I’m not afraid of death; I just don’t want to be there when it happens.” – Woody Allen


St. Patrick’s Day Joke [03.17.15]

March 17, 2015

An Irishman walks out of a bar.

Just kidding.


Quotes: Work it [03.11.15]

March 11, 2015

Writing this here at work, these seem appropriate.

  • I love deadlines. I love the whooshing noise they make as they go by. ― Douglas Adams
  • Never put off till tomorrow what may be done day after tomorrow just as well. – Mark Twain
  • Have you ever noticed how ‘What the hell’ is always the right decision to make? ― Terry Johnson

10,000 Chickens walk into a Restaurant [03.10.15]

March 10, 2015

Make that, one chicken walks into Table 128 and doesn’t make it out alive.

I recently had the pleasure of dining at Table 128 and had the best chicken dish I have ever had. Ever.

Presenting, Heirloom Chicken

chicken dish

Wild rice, Brussels sprouts, French horn mushrooms, natural reduction and chestnut puree.

Was it one of these chickens, perhaps? No, those are some of the 10,000 chickens I grew up with. They were very cute.

ChickensThis post is dedicated to my friend, Susan, who used to raise fancy chickens. (Heirloom chickens in restaurant lingo.)


Increase your Vocabulary [03.06.15]

March 6, 2015

sweater

Sweater (noun). What you put on when your mother is cold.

slip

Freudian Slip (noun). When you say one thing but mean your mother.


Word of the Day [03.04.15]

March 4, 2015

Anthropophagy (n.)  – the eating of human flesh; cannibalism.

A little anthropophagy humor:

Eight Donners go to dinner. Two hours later the host calls, “Donner party of eight.” To which they reply, “Make the seven.”

donner party

The Donners, in fact, only resorted to cannibalism after eating boiled animal bones, hides, and even a beloved dog, Uno.